Progress With Unity Podcast #196: Fulham and Wolves reviews, Preston and QPR previews

Evenings suck. I have no idea why anyone would record a podcast after 7PM, let alone host a football match. It's dark, cold and everyone has gone home to watch repeats of Hammydale or Botheration Street.

PWU (or at least your flavour text writer) is wholly in favour of the Wigan Post's decision to drop 'evening' from its name. Not due to the above, but because this local publication now appears to be named after the South Stand goalpost Charles N'Zogbia struck as he netted the winner against Arsenal that time.

See, I told you it was a football paper all along!

Timecodes

0:00 Raucous Valentine's intros
2:00 Fulham review: "possession-based football is dead"
9:00 Coulda Woulda Shoulda Corner: What if Jacobs was Superman?
16:00 Wolves review: 85 minutes you'll never get back
18:00 A Bogle in progress & making Man United look average
23:00 The relegation run-in: "Everyone below 14th at risk"
27:00 Preston preview: Cup Final time again & profitable ball boying
29:00 Bogle standard (hehey) predictions and Si's Oddschecker (31:00)
36:00 Phantom scouts representing Latics in Europe
38:00 QPR preview: Rob's life of crime & quick predictions
45:00 Max & Paddy Perkins' Road to Nowhere

Progress With Unity Podcast #192: Burton review, Brentford preview

Two wins? Blinking heck, maybe Joycey is our king after all. Something incredible is definitely transpiring - Morsy the Sweatband Ranger and Callum 'The Mac' Connolly recently arrived in Lankisher with pixie dust on their toes and halos on their heads.

"But Mr Flavour Text Writer, Latics just faced the only two Championship teams in worse form at this point in the season."

Shurrup and write 'believe, and not just because that banner above the Grand Arcade told me to' on that blackboard precisely 88 times. Then iron my shorts.

Timecodes

0:00 Cheery intros
0:40 Matters Burtonian - Who the heck is Callum Connolly?
6:00 No public address announcement at 'Disco Burton' & #BogdansBigBrother update
10:00 'Joycey's (training) balls' & a short(s) interview review
16:00 Saucy Morsy the horsey... forcey? & A radio shoutout (literally)
20:00 "The Podcast ruined my dental work" & transfer gossip juice
22:00 Gary Caldwell is history & Zlatan Offsideovic
25:00 Brentford Beeview: Introducing Hulkington Jay Hogaaannn
29:00 Si's Oddschecker & roundtable predictions
36:00 Wigan Athletic returning to the Beeb & thanks for the cash, Bolton!
37:00 Fanzine plug, Hacker's 'owlers and Rob's wheely bin saga continued

Progress With Unity Podcast #191: Interview with Nick Taylor; Forest and Burton

Thank Jesus Seba for that! Just when everything appears to be crumbling to a film of biscuit crumbs that get stuck at the back of your throat... from a decaying BT phonebox emerges an unexpected saviour: the FA Cup 4th Round draw!

Nah, I'm not talking about the forthcoming Man U v Wigan tie, but the actual process of drawing those little spheres from Paul Daniels' velvet bag. There's nothing like grown men fumbling with a bunch of pool balls to galvanise not only your social media following, but your whole season too.

Now that's (the) magic (of the FA Cup)!

Timecodes 

0:00 The illusion of introductions
2:20 Forest review: worst side of the season?
5:40 'Leaf' it to Evergreen Warnock (hur)
10:00 Morsy the Morecambe to Gomez's Wise
15:00 Goalie gabber: Bogdan's Big Brother, & Powell out for season?
21:00 Transfer window ramble - Davies, Morsy, Bogle, Vardy's bandage
29:00 Interview with Nick Taylor, former Latics media boss - Rosler, Stam, Martinez
39:00 FA Cup (draw) golden balls & golden tickets
44:30 Delivering the Burton preview (no comment)
48:00 Mick's toothless prediction and Si's Oddschecker
53:00 More questions for Nick: your biggest mistake & Rob's bins!

Progress With Unity Podcast #189: Ipswich review, Rotherham preview

"A fair tackle." -- Officials

Diego Maradona punching past Peter Shilton in the '86 World Cup Final: legal. Thierry Henry placing the ball at his feet before scoring the goal that dumped Ireland out of the 2010 World Cup Qualifiers: legal.

Branislav Ivanovic gut busting Shaun Maloney just seconds before Chelsea broke to score a winning goal... which was offside: all above board and ratified.

Keith Stroud awarding a penalty against Dan Burn just for existing: you'd better believe that stood up in a footballing court of law (unlike that attacker stumbling into the penalty area).

Conclusion: football is utter nonsense, so for 2017 I shall be switching to competitive kerb-ball. And that, dear reader, is your Christmas present!

Timecodes

0:00 Apologetic intros LIVE from Sweden
2:00 Ipswich review with BUMPER Xmas stats & injury report
7:00 Burn's Safety Matches & the Joyce of Christmas
11:00 Fog trotting: grounds for abandonment?
13:00 Yanic's last Xmas at Latics... perhaps
16:00 PWU Highlights & Lowlights (22:00) of 2016
26:00 The Positives Section, BECK by popular demand
27:00 Rovrum preview: 'we have to win'
30:00 Apprehensive Derby and Huddersfield mini-previews
34:00 Merry Christmas and a Happy New Beer from PWU!

Progress With Unity Podcast #176: Fulham review, Preston preview

Fulham... predictable no-score draw... Des Lynam's drawers... shampooed moustache... Nigel Mansell... Maunsell sea forts... Sealand... sealant... Screw Thicks Direct... screw me to a blasted fence post... screw Wigan Fulham fixtures!

Sorry, I lapse into word association when my stamina runs low - 0-0s tend to have that effect on a small time internet weblogger. Just pretend it's an impromptu game of 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon' and all will be well.

I certainly ain't drunk, mind. Not yet, anyway

Timecodes

0:00 Empty seat intros
1:20 "Barn doors & banjos": Fulham boreview with Si's Off The Terrace thingy
3:20 All the numbers with stand-in Statman Baz
8:00 SHOCK! Selection SHOCKS! With Nick 'Limping' Powell
12:00 Snow White And The Tall Dwarves: The Dwarf Threshold
15:00 Deep in the Dales: Preston preview with Nick Myers
20:00 Players to look out for on Friday Night Footbawl & predictions (26:00)
28:00 Particularly pristine Preston Fact Pack lovingly prepared by Big Baz
40:00 Fans' Advisory Board September 2016: does anyone care about matchday programmes?
44:30 FAB continued: free away travel, photoshoot open day

Progress With Unity Podcast #174: Sheff Wed preview

'Captain' Bogdan amuses himself during the international break.

Progress With Unity is proud to announce its squad numbers for the 2015/16 season! But due to the English Podcast League's archaic copyright policies, we are are not able to publish them here at our small time internet weblog without paying at least £30 in paperwork fees.

Since we only have extra strong mints in the petty cash draw, you must solve these cryptic puzzles to find out who has been allocated which number. Have fun!

1. The one who finds increasingly creative ways to criticise the fourth official... but only when Wigan lose.
3. The one who slips in the odd curse word to make sure that part is edited out.
4. The one who finishes all the extra strong mints without telling anyone else they're there.
5. The one who forgets this is a Wigan Athletic podcast and talks about cricket/rugby/Olympics/competitive welly throwing at great length.
7. The one who is supposed to spend time on these descriptions but bursts bubble wrap instead.

Oh dear, I just realised that all those clues apply to every one of our panellists. You'll have to forgive me - it *has* been a pretty mind-numbing week of non-football, after all...

Timecodes

0:00 Thumbing and strumming intros
1:00 BONUS: The Non League Day high life with 'Salford' Simon
7:00 A great message from Bobby Campbell & Barry's Wigan 10k run
13:00 Transfer window wrap-up: Kaiyne Woolery, Andy Delort
20:00 International Breakdown: Bobby's Belgium - what a bench
22:00 Sheffield Wednesday preview: Latics links, the musical city
26:30 Si's rapid fire Oddschecker and predictions
33:00 Powell vs Perkins: Battle of the Ages
37:00 Norwich Beamback preview: Spotlight on ref Keith Stroud (and Delia)
43:00 Loanwatch: Super Sanmi Odelusi

Progress With Unity Podcast #167: Blackpool review, Barnsley preview

Why, dear reader? Why would you ever feel the evil urge to buy one of those terrible third-rate excuses for bedroom pseudo-furniture? The annoying little balls get lodged in your groin area, causing stealth bum numbness that only seems to materialise when you attempt to stand.

And tell me why you would want a tangerine coloured one when you claim to be a Wigan Athletic fan. Do you plan to paint it with that blue gloss you have left over from last year’s shed redecoration? Granted, it is a simply gorgeous hue, darling...

...But oh, you meant ‘Blackpool Beamback’? Sorry, I’ll crawl slowly to my comfort beanbag in the corner again…

Progress With Unity Podcast #166: Southend review, Blackpool preview

Got your snow boots and parka ready? Good, because Blackpool beckons and I don't like the look of that weather forecast. Forget sandcastles, you'd be better served building snowcastles! Fetch the mop bucket and shovel, I fancy making a snow-Caldwell...

Hard to believe it's almost August and Latics' latest campaign to crush the Championship is about to begin. I'm tipping Marc-Antoine Fortune and Grant Holt to be the top scorers for Uwe Rosler this season as chairman Dave Whelan aims for third successive FA Cup Semi Final.

Wait, er... what year is this again? And why is it hailstoning in May? Is this a dream, mother?

On this week's particularly smug edition of the PWU Podcast, your confident panellists explain why it was never once in doubt... and chat about ducks. But that bit was mostly cut out, so the above pic makes little sense...

Progress With Unity Podcast #163: Shrewsbury review, Coventry preview

They’re one Right Honourable Tub of Lard MP away from being a certain Friday evening BBC panel show. I’m of course talking about the delightful carousel of celebrity guests that is WISH FM, who have been covering for the absent Neill Rimmer with various employees of Wigan Athletic FC.

Don’t get me wrong – it must be said that dear Rimmsey has been a brilliant ‘game caller’ for both the club and our local FM radio station. But sometimes it’s good to hear a fresh voice – hey, lack of rotating panellists is the reason you stopped listening to the PWU Podcast many moons ago.

Ed Jones, Michael Jacobs and Jonathan Jackson have very capably assumed the co-commentator’s mic in the past month… but who’s gonna be next?

…Well, I can exclusively reveal that Children’s BBC presenter and Muppet wannabe Hacker T Dog is being primed to commentate on this Saturday’s game against Coventry! He last donned the sheepskin coat for a Belgium v Russia World Cup game in 2014, but has been ‘sucking many of Statman’s Uncle Joe’s’ in preparation for his big comeback.

And that’s where this blurb ends, because PWU knows all about sucking. That was too close to the… er… bone.

Woof.

Progress With Unity Podcast #161: Bradford review, Swindon and Rochdale previews

Why is it that Walsall don’t play at all over Easter weekend? You’d think they might have one game at least, but their next scheduled game is against Sheffield United on 2 April.

Are they entering an egg rolling competition… or maybe an egg roll competition on The Great British Egg-Off? Perhaps they’re going to see a theatrical version of The Walking Dead starring Darren Deadman as all the zombies…?

Or is it that time of year when the whole of Walsall takes time off to prune its exquisitely trimmed lawns? You know, like how Wigan has a borough-wide holiday for National Pie Week.

(I have to say Walsall’s lack of domestic action could also be due to players on international duty. But that’s boring, so let’s not.)

Whatever the reason, bottlenecking fixtures in April can only lead to heartache. The good news is that the Saddlers, like Latics, are now mathematically safe from relegation… but wouldn’t the Playoffs be just as bad?

Yes… yes, they would.

Progress With Unity Podcast #160: Colchester review, Bradford preview

Question: How long does it take to get to Mars?

Answer: After a low scoring draw with Bradford, a thumping victory over Swindon, a last minute winner against Rochdale, a boring 0-0 with Coventry, a gutbusting thriller at the Pirelli Stadium, a premature promotion party at Blackpool and a tense final day win to secure automatic promotion on goal difference.

Then, the arrival of eight new players plus one high profile £5m sale to balance the books. A shaky start to a new Championship season with Jussi Jaaskelainen’s place under threat from new signing Roy ’53 Years Young’ Carroll…

Actual answer: If the ExoMars schedule is to be trusted, about 7 months.

“Well, I wish you’d just told me that in the first place.”

Progress With Unity Podcast #159: Peterborough review, Colchester preview

Apparently, last Friday wasn’t the 13th of March… but you could have fooled me. When Mike Pollitt steered his SUV into a poorly-placed brick wall, he set in motion a chain of events that rippled through the Latics goalkeeping staff, and eventually the whole team. Tactical switches became difficult to acclimatise to, before you knew it, two League One points had slipped through our particularly greasy gravy-stained fingers.

In a season of great luck with injuries, suspensions, signings and results, relatively minor misfortunes are magnified to such an extent they become lead paragraphs on small time internet weblogs.

But it hasn’t been a bad week overall, you know. The tenacious trio of Morsy, Jussi and Pearcey will be back fairly soon, while Stephen Warnock has also arrived to help Polyfilla the mouse hole. (Aaand now you know what household tasks I’ve been engaged in this past month…)

Progress With Unity Podcast #158: Bury and Millwall reviews, Peterborough preview

We would like to wish goalkeeping coach Mike Pollitt a very Happy 11th Birthday for 29th February. Since such occasions only arrive every four years, it is an event to be celebrated... with a thumping 3-0 victory over the Farnworth Flyer’s former side.

Oh, didn’t you know? Polly was benchwarmer for the Saddlers at the start of the 91-92 season... at the ripe old age of 5. No wonder he never made an appearance for the club!

We’d also like to thank the Beamback Gods, who blessed us with a fighting 0-0 draw at the Lions’ Den. Never will a scoreless game be so well remembered by so many, not least Sam Morsy.

Roll on Peterborough and the rest of the final dozen, baker’s man! Preferably with jam.

Progress With Unity Podcast #157: Walsall review, Bury and Millwall previews

We shouldn’t really talk about the FA Cup, seeing as Wigan are no longer part of this year’s competition. But I can’t resist – the nostalgic lure of summer 2013 looms large in my nostrils like the fragrant aroma of fresh pigeon droppings. Hey, it reminds me of Haigh Hall, okay?

Observers of Man City’s crushing cup defeat to Chelsea may have recognised two familiar faces – those of Tosin Adarabioyo and Cameron Humphreys-Grant. That’s because they played for City 18s against Wigan at Stade DW just a few short weeks ago! My, how they grow so fast.

Meanwhile, the ‘magic of the League’ continues to excite Progress With Unity’s panellists more than it bally well should. Are you ready for the mid-table marathon that is Feb-Mar 2016?! PWU says: bring it on with a side of French fry pie.

Progress With Unity Podcast #156: Oldham review, Walsall preview

He’s the only Latics player cool enough for not one, but three heavy metal umlauts. Jussi Albert Jääskeläinen, whose name I certainly did not cut and paste from Wikipedia just now, is still bumpin’ and thumpin’ at the ripe old age of 21 plus 19. You never would have thought it ten years ago, but the long time Boltonian has bellowed his way into our big Lancastrian hearts this Valentine’s Week.

Choose not to berate and slate those who might have converted their 86th minute chances, nor those who slowly slinked down the tunnel after getting lost in the centre circle. Instead, listen to PWU’s so-called 'expert panellists' do just that…

Well, OK – we do praise Jussi as well... briefly.

Progress With Unity Podcast #155: Sheffield United review, Oldham preview

At this point in the season, there exist 23 mini-Everests. Scaling a single place in the League One table is a notable achievement indeed... if you can survive, that is. And that's not to mention the $25,000 you have to fork out just for a permit to climb.

I, er... think I'm going to stick to scaling the Rabbit Rocks in Ince from now on. The terrain is much more even than a typical DW surface in mid-February...

Progress With Unity Podcast #154: Port Vale and Man City U18 review, Sheff Utd preview

Ahh, good old Tez. We miss ya!

Gooooood afternoon guys! Iiiiiit's twelve past seven here at 193.2 Latics Efff Emmm. Gonna be ten degrees out there today so remember to take a coat and bag of Uncle Joe's with you if you're venturing beyond that front dooooor.

Todaaaay's shoutout goes to the DW Stadium surface: get well soon from all Latics fans out there in Wigan Boroughland on this fine Lancastrian afternoon. Please don't fall apart, we need you for the next four months!

And comin' up next, it's the same track you heard at the same time yesterday because we never deviate from our prescribed playlists. Guh-roooveeeeeaah!

Progress With Unity Podcast #152: Chesterfield review, Crewe preview

Look, I know we just picked up seven points from nine at home. I know we just saw fifteen goals, all of them amazing in their own special way.

But I'd prefer to just forget everything that has gone and look forward to the final part of the season, OK? All these comebacks are making the hairs on my arms fall out, and I need those to look like Bruce Willis in my 80s tank top.

So Wigan Athletic, for the sake of my yak-like hairiness, keep scoring three goals a game until May 2016.

Thanks,
Guy That Writes The Flavour Text That Nobody Ever Reads

Progress With Unity Podcast #151: Gillingham and Sheff Utd reviews, Chesterfield preview

You want to see the table? Well, here it is...

Don't look at the table, it'll only make you nervous. I said don't do it! And while you're at it, forget all those other teams in this division too. And the other divisions.

Aaaah, don't you feel better now? Good, you can enjoy the football of a Saturday afternoon without worrying if you'll make the playoffs or finish 24th out of 24. Now you can relax and savour soccer for the spectacle it really is.

Sigh... I remember when the FA Cup used to do to that for us.

*Wipes tear from eye*

*Takes swig from '2013 FA Cup Winners' mug*

Progress With Unity Podcast #150: Fleetwood and Scunthorpe, Gillingham and Sheffield United

Tonight's shoutout is directed squarely at the Great British weather, which, in the spirit of neo-punk, continues to make a mockery of the Football League's fixture selection! Yaah, go raaain!

Thankfully, plenty of precipitation is prophecised for the next couple of weeks. This means I can cool down my season ticket, which will be pretty close to melting point after being swiped through the DW turnstiles thrice in the space of nine days.

I suggest you visit the toilet *before* listening to this week's edition of the PWU Podcast, because we rattle through a whole year's worth of topics in the space of 45 minutes. Hey, the last episode was aaaaall the way back in 2015, so there's much more to cover than usual!

(And I know I use that joke every year, but hopefully you forgot by now...)