Thursday, 12 May 2016
Eh? What was that yer said theer, lad? I can't hear a ruddy thing - me ears are still ringin' after I stood reet in front o' that loudspeaker durin' t'presentation ceremony on Sunday. Eee, we had nowt like that in my day... back then they just told the compere to speak slightly louder. Yep, 2003 was a difficult year for us all, mark my words.... zzzz snore.
Ed: You wouldn't believe he turns 30 this year, dear readers. Anyway, while he's asleep I should make good use of this rare opportunity and voice my own opinions on every little thing! I shall take great delight in trashing Latics because they played at 75% in a single game, while conveniently ignoring the 40+ other 'smashing' performances this season.
But I... er... have absolutely nothing to say... except that PWU can't sing.
Thursday, 5 May 2016
Why, dear reader? Why would you ever feel the evil urge to buy one of those terrible third-rate excuses for bedroom pseudo-furniture? The annoying little balls get lodged in your groin area, causing stealth bum numbness that only seems to materialise when you attempt to stand.
And tell me why you would want a tangerine coloured one when you claim to be a Wigan Athletic fan. Do you plan to paint it with that blue gloss you have left over from last year’s shed redecoration? Granted, it is a simply gorgeous hue, darling...
...But oh, you meant ‘Blackpool Beamback’? Sorry, I’ll crawl slowly to my comfort beanbag in the corner again…