Thursday, 20 April 2017

Progress With Unity Podcast #205: Barnsley and Brighton reviews, Cardiff preview


It's that time of the year, dear flavour text reader. From this point onwards, Wigan Athletic could descend into that pit of rabid social media keyboard warriors at a moment's notice. A mere victim of circumstance, the unfortunate Jakob Haugaard has already been tossed in there with his peanut butter gloves and shredded contract cash.

This is almost like commentating on the fireball that's about to strike earth. "And here it comes, the final blow to all humanity, just as the Mayans predicted all those years ago. To everyone listening, I'd like to say... screw you, you ungrateful swines! You never leave any comments on my Facebook posts or..."

*KABOOOOOM!*

Timecodes

0:00 'End of Days' intros
1:30 Barnsley review: Nick Powell, the hero Wigan needs but does not deserve
6:00 Hau My Gaard, it's the Battle of the Crap Keepers
11:00 Barnsley in detention & an honorary mention (for the ref)
14:00 Goalie solution: 'put Deep Heat in Haugaard's pants'
16:00 Win-win-win to survive?
20:00 Cardiff preview: Statman gives up!
23:00 Protracted predictions & Si's Blue, Blue(bird) Oddschecker
35:00 Progress With Unity Player of the Season voting now open
36:00 Half Time Game: 2nd winner of the season & new game = It's A Knockout?

Thursday, 13 April 2017

Progress With Unity Podcast #204: Rotherham review, Barnsley and Brighton previews


Aww, isn't it May yet? This season ought to have ended a whole month ago - not sure I can bear another four weeks of increasingly dubious defensive screw-ups. King Joyce's brickhouse backlines (pictured) might have been excessive, but at least they worked... sort of.

Mind you, with goals like these, who needs defenders? Now, if only these Powell, Gilbey and Obertan chaps played for Wigan...

Timecodes

0:00 Intros from the top rope
0:30 Latics v Rovrum v Warrington: Fake Stats
5:00 WCW Horseplay LIVE from Robin Park: Powell v Price
10:00 Haugaardgate: a contractual selection
14:00 40+ players this season: are they all to blame?
18:50 Sharpy interview with Wigan Today: what's it got to do with him?
23:00 Barrunsley preview: "still 22nd to play for"
28:00 Four wins needed? 49 points to stay up?
30:00 Si's optimistic Oddschecker
33:00 Brighton preview: fake stats / steak fats
41:00 Up the cup winning Tics: Dev Squad glory

Thursday, 6 April 2017

Progress With Unity Podcast #203: Newcastle and Ipswich reviews, Rotherham preview


Which is worse: strikerless matches or matchless strikers? Speaking of which, has anyone seen Mikey Mandron of late? My guess is that he's on holiday in Greenland, Grimsby or quite possibly Gibraltar.

Didn't matter on Tuesday night anyway, as it was the defenders that mucked up first and foremost. Should've put Danny Burn up front where he belongs, says your small time flavour text writer. Also, get Kings Coyle and Joyce back...

(I'll cut off his text here, dear reader - flavour text man is evidently under the influence of social media. -- Ed.)

Timecodes

0:00 Greasy intros
2:00 Statless Newcastle review with Simon's Tripadvisor report
6:00 Apologetic Warnock (=new Twitter account idea?)
12:00 Shoutouts to King 'Coach' Joyce
14:00 Seamless Ipswich review with a sigh and a Si: 'it's over'
18:00 Next striker: Mandron? Lang? AN Other?
23:00 King St getting ready for a party... in 12 months' time
25:00 Next manager: Jewell? Caldwell? Barry Worthington?
28:00 Weepy Rotherham preview
32:00 Si's Oddschecker: Straw Clutching Special & Mick backs against Wigan shock!
36:00 Sayonara Matt Jackson & Nick Powell's long comeback

Thursday, 30 March 2017

Progress With Unity Podcast #202: Newcastle and Ipswich previews


My fellow Ticspeople! While you're sucking ice cream from a dripping cone on a deck chair in sunniest Benalmadina, spare a thought for those poor Wigan Athletic footballers suffering extra training sessions in the pouring Rainford* rain.

There ain't no warm weather training while Uncle Barra's bookin' the flights! Mostly because he can't get through to Ceefax Holidays** - all he can access at their number is a premium rate answer machine for 8008335-chat. Don't tell Sharpy, but his entire holiday budget has been spent on said hotline.

*Yeah, I know they actually train in Chorley but it's harder to make witty precipitation-based quips about Euxton.
** Ceefax Holidays never actually existed. Just thought I'd point that out.

Timecodes

0:00 Suspiciously edited intros (extra STEAMy)
2:30 Reluctant relegation run-in prediction pool
10:00 Preparing those point deduction campaigns
12:00 Newcastle preview with cringe-worthy form guide
16:00 Si's Oddschecker - numbers still upsetting
20:00 The Great Escape is on! But only if Wigan beat Newcastle...
22:00 Ipswich preview with Beanbag Beamback chat & predictions
27:00 Smashing League One with Super Matty Gilks (and Dan Burn)