Sorry, I can't do it. I can't mention Burton without thinking about Burton's Biscuits, the UK's second largest manufacturer of the confection, presumably after whoever makes those [name of TV chef removed] wafers that taste like 40-year old stamps. I'll be back to write the second paragraph once I've raided the fridge.
Right, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, Wigan Athletic's slight dip in form to coincide with the ever-so-convenient shift in atmospheric conditions. But I've already covered this subject in my toilet door column for the Daily Fail, so have a game of Ten To One instead:
Wednesday, 25 November 2015
Wednesday, 18 November 2015
Look, I told you to stop me if I ever got like this! We're barely into December and already I'm refreshing the BBC Sport league table on an hourly basis just to make sure we haven't climbed a place or two in the preceding 25 minutes. It's like the Ceefax days all over again! Agh, I'm gonna unplug this Ethernet cable right no- NO CONNECTION AVAILABLE
Wednesday, 11 November 2015
Ah, so *that's* where all those pots of Johnstone's Paint have been going!
Bumble bumble bumble Bury, mumble mumble mumble league priorities, grumble grumble grumble bad referees.
Now with that out of the way, we can talk about Wembley again! Ah yes, the DW of the South, the Ben Watson Memorial Stadium, where the sun always shines... despite gushing rain that somehow seeps through the extra thick tarpaulin covering the terraces. Well, we can forgive the cost cutting - after all, Wembley *is* one of two Wigan Athletic stadiums Mr Whelan has to maintain these days!
Thursday, 5 November 2015
Yep, just hold on a minute while I adjust my seat here. Let's see... right, I *think* that's in the correct position now. OK, I'll just go to the kitchen for a refill of my lukewarm beverage, then make sure I haven't had any calls on my answering machine... for the third time this hour.
What, a booking? Come on, ref, how was I wasting time there?
...Wait, since when did blog description writing have yellow cards, or referees for that matter? Blasted Vigouroux Effect.