Progress With Unity Podcast #197: Preston and QPR reviews, Forest preview

Hello; I am not your small time flavour text writer. He can not be with you this week as he is currently under investigation by the BPB (British Pie Board) for irregularities regarding pre-match pastries. He is said to have advocated Galloways over the obviously superior Hollands, a claim he outright refutes. But following his role in the Penguins in the fridge incident of 2016, such accusations must be investigated.

I have been told to 'write something silly' in his absence, but my nature forbids such foolishness. Hence, the following timecodes have been written by that friendly robotic chap Google Timecode once more.

Have a nice day, pie-munchers.

Timec0des
Copywrong Google Timecode 2017*
*Known to be 82% accurate

0:00 Comeback #ntros
1:50 Latics v Prest£n rev1ew: phantom penalties & phantom runs
8:00 Welcome to defensive stability & Cup Final capers ##}
11:00 (Sadly pieless) QPR v Latics review: arbitrary booking allocation
16:00 We got a penalty, woo yeaaah!
23:00 Stat showdown: King Joyce v Superman Caldwell
27:00 'Draws are no good' vs. 'don't lose under any circumstances' +++
33:00 Does Joyce trust his players?
38:40 Tree-mendous Latics v Forest preview & pred&ctions (42:00)
44:00 Si's Cup Final #5 OddschUcker
49:00 Fear %f failure?
52:00 Shameless All Gone Latics Fanzine plug

Progress With Unity Podcast #160: Colchester review, Bradford preview

Question: How long does it take to get to Mars?

Answer: After a low scoring draw with Bradford, a thumping victory over Swindon, a last minute winner against Rochdale, a boring 0-0 with Coventry, a gutbusting thriller at the Pirelli Stadium, a premature promotion party at Blackpool and a tense final day win to secure automatic promotion on goal difference.

Then, the arrival of eight new players plus one high profile £5m sale to balance the books. A shaky start to a new Championship season with Jussi Jaaskelainen’s place under threat from new signing Roy ’53 Years Young’ Carroll…

Actual answer: If the ExoMars schedule is to be trusted, about 7 months.

“Well, I wish you’d just told me that in the first place.”

Progress With Unity Podcast #158: Bury and Millwall reviews, Peterborough preview

We would like to wish goalkeeping coach Mike Pollitt a very Happy 11th Birthday for 29th February. Since such occasions only arrive every four years, it is an event to be celebrated... with a thumping 3-0 victory over the Farnworth Flyer’s former side.

Oh, didn’t you know? Polly was benchwarmer for the Saddlers at the start of the 91-92 season... at the ripe old age of 5. No wonder he never made an appearance for the club!

We’d also like to thank the Beamback Gods, who blessed us with a fighting 0-0 draw at the Lions’ Den. Never will a scoreless game be so well remembered by so many, not least Sam Morsy.

Roll on Peterborough and the rest of the final dozen, baker’s man! Preferably with jam.

Progress With Unity Podcast #156: Oldham review, Walsall preview

He’s the only Latics player cool enough for not one, but three heavy metal umlauts. Jussi Albert Jääskeläinen, whose name I certainly did not cut and paste from Wikipedia just now, is still bumpin’ and thumpin’ at the ripe old age of 21 plus 19. You never would have thought it ten years ago, but the long time Boltonian has bellowed his way into our big Lancastrian hearts this Valentine’s Week.

Choose not to berate and slate those who might have converted their 86th minute chances, nor those who slowly slinked down the tunnel after getting lost in the centre circle. Instead, listen to PWU’s so-called 'expert panellists' do just that…

Well, OK – we do praise Jussi as well... briefly.

Progress With Unity Podcast #154: Port Vale and Man City U18 review, Sheff Utd preview

Ahh, good old Tez. We miss ya!

Gooooood afternoon guys! Iiiiiit's twelve past seven here at 193.2 Latics Efff Emmm. Gonna be ten degrees out there today so remember to take a coat and bag of Uncle Joe's with you if you're venturing beyond that front dooooor.

Todaaaay's shoutout goes to the DW Stadium surface: get well soon from all Latics fans out there in Wigan Boroughland on this fine Lancastrian afternoon. Please don't fall apart, we need you for the next four months!

And comin' up next, it's the same track you heard at the same time yesterday because we never deviate from our prescribed playlists. Guh-roooveeeeeaah!

Progress With Unity Podcast #153: Crewe review, Port Vale preview, FAB January 2016

"Good evening, Bristolers. I am reporting live from Norwich, on the border with Hulton just outside wig gone.

"Sorry, did my audio just become garbled there, Geoff? I'm pointing my phone in the erection of Winter Hill now... is matt any better?

"Wight. Let's continue with this week's ablution of the pro Gresty Road post cat. I reckon-"

Oh dear, we seem to have lost our flavour text writer. Let's hope we never get him back.

Progress With Unity Podcast #143: Bury and Blackpool reviews, Rochdale preview

Ah, so *that's* where all those pots of Johnstone's Paint have been going!

Bumble bumble bumble Bury, mumble mumble mumble league priorities, grumble grumble grumble bad referees.

Now with that out of the way, we can talk about Wembley again! Ah yes, the DW of the South, the Ben Watson Memorial Stadium, where the sun always shines... despite gushing rain that somehow seeps through the extra thick tarpaulin covering the terraces. Well, we can forgive the cost cutting - after all, Wembley *is* one of two Wigan Athletic stadiums Mr Whelan has to maintain these days!

Progress With Unity Podcast #137: Oldham and Millwall reviews, Walsall preview

You gotta know when to Oldham...

Forget two card draw, how about two draws and a (red) card? Yep, screw exposition: that one sentence is my PWU Podcast description this week, because you don't get much more succinct than that.

Did ya hear me? That's it, so just download the episode and find out what's inside. Hey, it wouldn't be right for me to spoil your Christmas present, would it? ;)

Progress With Unity Podcast #135: Port Vale review, Fleetwood preview

I've haddock enough of this... it isn't the time or plaice! (c)Adam Nadel

My editor has told me to bill this game the 'Fish and Chip Showdown' between Fleetwood 'Capital of Chippies' Town and David 'Chip Haute Cuisine' Sharpe. But I refuse to honour his request as it will only make you hungry, and this isn't a food blog like nicecupofteaandasitdown.com. That website, on the other hand, is... and fantastic it is, too.

So, er, scared yet? Well, you should be - Wigan Athletic have the power to be dangerous not only to your health, but the best of the League One teams. If only we could harness that power, it would be enough to tear apart the very fabric of the universe.

Meh, forget that - let's make some Fleetwood Mac jokes instead. Yahay!

Progress With Unity Podcast #132: Gillingham review, Crewe preview

Excuse me, sir, but I believe you spelled it wrong!

You can always rely on the Progress With Unity CREW to bring the pun dictionaries. Be sure to listen carefully tonight, for many CREWl and cringeworthy half-baked references have been corksCREWEd into the show for no other reason than to sCREW with your head.

Did you know that Crewel is a type of embroidery? See, you wouldn't have known that if you didn't check this post. Whoever said PWU isn't the least bit educational? Well, apart from me...