Don't believe all you read on unsanitary small time Internet weblogs - Blackburn and Bristol certainly aren't about to be deducted 10 points each for irregularities involving the illegal acquisition of mint flavour Penguin biscuits. Such stories are sent from alternate universes where Gaz Caldwell and Boycey didn't lift the FA Cup in 2013.
...Yeah, in that reality, Angelo Henriquez jumped in front to snatch it from their grasp before running 200 miles back to Old Trafford... on foot. Some say the trophy is still hidden under a Manchester bridge where Angie 'put it for safe keeping' and forgot to collect it the next morning.
But that's also a reality in which Latics are still sitting mid-table in the Premier League. So which universe is it gonna be? Choose now!
This week's surprise special guest: Paul Kendrick from the Wigan Post!
0:00 Chucklevision intros with bonus bin complaints
3:00 Cardiff review with bonus Statman super rant!
8:00 Intermission: A Critical Review with bonus striker gripes
14:00 More Cardiff chatter with bonus King Joyce praise
17:00 Paul Kendrick QnA: Players afraid of being flogged off? Barra' moving 'upstairs'?
22:00 ...Which club serves the best press room food? With bonus pie ramble (of course)
24:00 ...WISH FM news: Ed Jones saves the day! With bonus Grant Holt jibes
27:00 ...Paul's greatest ever Tweet & who would you like Latics to sign?
33:00 Youth players released & equal rights contracts
36:00 Not-at-all-token Reading preview with bonus FA Cup 2013 references
42:00 Joseph's Goal Legends game: Jesus is a Wiganer again!
45:00 More Paul Kendrick QnA: Best and worst person you've interviewed?
48:00 ...Asking the difficult questions & defending against keyboard warriors
53:00 Shameless plug: All Gone Latics zine on sale vs Leeds & at the Legends game