Why, dear reader? Why would you ever feel the evil urge to buy one of those terrible third-rate excuses for bedroom pseudo-furniture? The annoying little balls get lodged in your groin area, causing stealth bum numbness that only seems to materialise when you attempt to stand.
And tell me why you would want a tangerine coloured one when you claim to be a Wigan Athletic fan. Do you plan to paint it with that blue gloss you have left over from last year’s shed redecoration? Granted, it is a simply gorgeous hue, darling...
...But oh, you meant ‘Blackpool Beamback’? Sorry, I’ll crawl slowly to my comfort beanbag in the corner again…
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