Progress With Unity Podcast #187: Derby review, Aston Villa and Newcastle previews

Short on time? That's a convenient coincidence, because we have just the gimmick for you. Starting this week, your flavour text writer will be providing one-sentence summaries of the PWU episode(s) in question. And this week, that sentence is:

"Warren Joyce lost his pants."

There ya go - now you don't even need to listen! But I'm still going to write timecodes to cover the unlikely event that you have over 30 seconds but less than 2 minutes to spare.

Only kidding, I haven't even listened to this episode yet. Let me know what happens, will ya?

Timecodes

0:00 Twilight Zone intros
0:30 Derby deconstruction with Si's softly spoken Off The Terrace report (1:30)
3:00 Grigg or Gomez? Yanic or Davies? Shorts or trousers?
8:00 First half painful, second half gainful(ish)
10:30 "It's all your fault, Marcus Wildschut"
17:30 FA Cup draw: 'a load of balls'
20:00 Aston Villa preview: Brucey's Frustration Game
23:00 Si's Oddschecker and mildly apprehensive predictions (apprehensictions?)
30:00 Stephen Warnock: Superstar Centre Forward
33:00 Newcastle preview & super-apprehensive predictions (superapprehensictions?)
40:00 10 in 10: televised tat or tanfastic treats? And 'when Latics were the best in Europe'

Progress With Unity Podcast #157: Walsall review, Bury and Millwall previews

We shouldn’t really talk about the FA Cup, seeing as Wigan are no longer part of this year’s competition. But I can’t resist – the nostalgic lure of summer 2013 looms large in my nostrils like the fragrant aroma of fresh pigeon droppings. Hey, it reminds me of Haigh Hall, okay?

Observers of Man City’s crushing cup defeat to Chelsea may have recognised two familiar faces – those of Tosin Adarabioyo and Cameron Humphreys-Grant. That’s because they played for City 18s against Wigan at Stade DW just a few short weeks ago! My, how they grow so fast.

Meanwhile, the ‘magic of the League’ continues to excite Progress With Unity’s panellists more than it bally well should. Are you ready for the mid-table marathon that is Feb-Mar 2016?! PWU says: bring it on with a side of French fry pie.

Progress With Unity Podcast #156: Oldham review, Walsall preview

He’s the only Latics player cool enough for not one, but three heavy metal umlauts. Jussi Albert Jääskeläinen, whose name I certainly did not cut and paste from Wikipedia just now, is still bumpin’ and thumpin’ at the ripe old age of 21 plus 19. You never would have thought it ten years ago, but the long time Boltonian has bellowed his way into our big Lancastrian hearts this Valentine’s Week.

Choose not to berate and slate those who might have converted their 86th minute chances, nor those who slowly slinked down the tunnel after getting lost in the centre circle. Instead, listen to PWU’s so-called 'expert panellists' do just that…

Well, OK – we do praise Jussi as well... briefly.

Progress With Unity Podcast #155: Sheffield United review, Oldham preview

At this point in the season, there exist 23 mini-Everests. Scaling a single place in the League One table is a notable achievement indeed... if you can survive, that is. And that's not to mention the $25,000 you have to fork out just for a permit to climb.

I, er... think I'm going to stick to scaling the Rabbit Rocks in Ince from now on. The terrain is much more even than a typical DW surface in mid-February...

Progress With Unity Podcast #140: Colchester and Peterborough reviews, Bradford preview

Greetings! I am a humble time traveller, and I bring you news from the future. Did you know that in 2013, Wigan Athletic will win the FA Cup? And that in 2014, they will sign the greatest striker known to (one) man, Grant Holt? And that in 2016, they will... [content censored]

(I had to do that for your own good. In fact, that piece of censored news has persuaded me to quit my job as a Wigan Athletic job description writer forever. Now bog off, you lot. -- Ed)

Well, he was rude, wasn't he? Never mind: I, Dan, will still be here.

...Wait, where are you going? Come back!

Progress With Unity Podcast #139: Bury review, Colchester preview

I think you'd better do as he says - that's a pretty big gun he has there. (c)BBC

There it is, I saw it with my own eyes! Latics have played their first 'Bear Grylls' card of the season. Let me explain...

You're probably aware that Man vs Wild is no real representation of life in the wilderness, since 'Brother' Bear does most things because the director tells him to. In the fast-paced world of television, an instant catalyst such as this is needed to keep things interesting. In football, that catalyst is a red card... in this case, at Bury.

BOOM, two goals, could've been three. Now discuss at great length until your face is as blue as your shirt. PWU139: go.

Progress With Unity Podcast #138: Walsall and Crewe reviews, Bury preview

So much for a settled squad by October! Four debuts in the space of a week, not counting that ball boy? Well, if they're all as good as Yanic Wildschut, I say keep shipping 'em in!

Warning: the preceding sentence may contain opinion that conflicts with the general consensus of Progress With Unity as a whole. Feel free to ignore it and browse the above John Stone's Paint colour chart at your leisure.