The report from the non-reporter Richard Ricardo:
it's funny how football makes you say things you thought you'd never say. On Staurday I quite spontaneously said 'if Reece carries on playing like that I might even start liking Chelsea'.
I met up with one of my Saturday football and Boulevard of Broken Dreams friends and admitted that I had found something in the Daily Mail I agreed with. On both counts I feared a banning order from everywhere and ES7, so I wont admit to either here. Kath and her Mum think I suffer from St Vitus Tick and if yesterday was anything to go by, it reached a new level.
There was an air of relief when we saw Nickieohnickie Powell on the pitch.
The first half we dominated everything and everywhere. As the saying goes 'it was just like watching the moral winners of the world cup - Croatia'.
We had fire in our bellies, passing accuracy told us that the week's training had been spent kicking balls through eyes of needles. It was a pleasure to behold. If we all thought that Jean Beasajour was the fastest Chilean we've seen at the DW in the wing back position, well you aint seen nothing. Annttonnee Robinson is 'leopard legs', he makes Yanic look like a lumbering warthog as he 'runs down the wing'.
With 'LL' flying down the wing, Dean Windass trying too emulate his Dad at Wembley, Reece going from right to left, up front, back back and some precision 'Jordi-esque slide rule' passes we saw an action replay of the QPR game and I feared it was going to be an action replay.
My involuntary uncoordinated jerks may have had an observant Steward thinking I'd had a pre-match snort. We were playing wonderful and beautiful football.
The new owners in their masses were impressed and in unison they sang 'We are going up', in Mandarin. I heard it from ES7.
Cross after cross after cross went surprisingly across. None of them could be slotted in. It seemed like everyone missed. But it was entertaining and frustrating. Just like at QPR.
We were reassured that it would all be sorted in the second half. Out they came. Rotherham entertained us with their synchronsied swimming style star burst. Gold medal. 10/10.
They'd got rid of the bus and parked a Stobart truck and carried on with a defensive game but decided to have 3 up front and be the first to every ball, which they were.
'Walton Sure Hands' needed to remind us of a replica Southampton dive. A life saving dive. Wigan were heading into the jaws of death, at speed. Rotherham blinded us with the star burst, their 457 fans were in fine voice. They were getting through. A shot with force, after several corners, and Kipre Kone had watched the motivational video of 'Defend for your Life', put out by WAFC of the win against Man City last season. Like an Israeli sherman tank he simply got in to the way of the stone.
SAVE. Phew!
A moment of relief. Rotherham moaned at every occasion about something, but at least they weren't playing the clock down any longer, as they did in the first half. Another one randomly fell over. Sir Cook made an inspirational double sub. Off went the casual and lacrubious Powell and Grigg, both having had good games, on came the Dynamo Vaughan and Macamamamaumumum.
Give it Callum, weave through the defence, FIRE! A rebound from the man from Kosice, suddenly it all looked even more like QPR again. But Vaughan poked his big toe at it. In went the worst most unspectacular goal ever scored. The celebrations were disproportionate to the quality of the goal. But all that matters ...... in it went!We had 15 minutes to endure of an onslaught.
Why oh why don't they just do what the subs do at half time and play keep ball for 10 minutes. I'd be very happy to be bored for 10 minutes. Bloody fingernails are bleeding and down to the wick. Capt Sam patrolled midfield but I do sense he hasn't quite got over his jet lag from Kazan.
For sherman Kipre's dive alone, and a few other defensive greats he was Man of the Match.
We were saved from the sharks jaws of doom. The whistle blew and my heart rate went to it's usual 57 and BP 120/60. It had been a lot more than that!!
For once we don't need to sack anyone!
One more win and we are in the play - offs.
Richard Ricardo
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