Progress With Unity Christmas Quiz 2016

 Clue: quiz does not contain Donervon or Yanic.

Four years ago, Progress With Unity hosted a gala Christmas function complete with snacks, flimsy party hats and a Latics-themed quiz. It was attended by many prominent figures in the Wigan Athletic community… and Mr Barry Worthington.

But that was over in the positively archaic Studio 1. This year’s PWU do took place in a genuine Swedish sauna… round the back of the Book Cycle. Yeah, I never knew it was there until the party either! Funny how I didn’t even think to look before now.

See if you can beat our expert panellists with this test of your Wigan Athletic knowledge. Questions provided by All Gone Latics ‘journos’ Dan and Liam, so you can direct any inaccuracies squarely at their moping mushes.

How did you do? 

1-3 points: Alright there, Coyley?

3-6 points: Have yourself an extra helping of meat an’ tater this New Year.

6-9 points: You’re better at this than I am.

9+ points: Cheater! I’m going to revoke your Google access. 😛

Progress With Unity Podcast #189: Ipswich review, Rotherham preview

"A fair tackle." -- Officials

Diego Maradona punching past Peter Shilton in the '86 World Cup Final: legal. Thierry Henry placing the ball at his feet before scoring the goal that dumped Ireland out of the 2010 World Cup Qualifiers: legal.

Branislav Ivanovic gut busting Shaun Maloney just seconds before Chelsea broke to score a winning goal... which was offside: all above board and ratified.

Keith Stroud awarding a penalty against Dan Burn just for existing: you'd better believe that stood up in a footballing court of law (unlike that attacker stumbling into the penalty area).

Conclusion: football is utter nonsense, so for 2017 I shall be switching to competitive kerb-ball. And that, dear reader, is your Christmas present!

Timecodes

0:00 Apologetic intros LIVE from Sweden
2:00 Ipswich review with BUMPER Xmas stats & injury report
7:00 Burn's Safety Matches & the Joyce of Christmas
11:00 Fog trotting: grounds for abandonment?
13:00 Yanic's last Xmas at Latics... perhaps
16:00 PWU Highlights & Lowlights (22:00) of 2016
26:00 The Positives Section, BECK by popular demand
27:00 Rovrum preview: 'we have to win'
30:00 Apprehensive Derby and Huddersfield mini-previews
34:00 Merry Christmas and a Happy New Beer from PWU!

Progress With Unity Podcast #188: Aston Villa review, Newcastle and Ipswich previews

  
Contrary to the first two teams in the post subject, it certainly isn't Premier League Week here at PWU. Get with the times! We're in 1996 already, geez.

Unseasonably mild evenings offer the perfect opportunity for an al fresco edition of Peedubya live from the burger van outside the South Stand. Yep, we literally stood around in a circle with a voice recorder while the wind blew through our ears.

(Well, *I* didn't because I was stuck in a traffic jam outside KFC.)

Our resident podcast editor has applied noise removal techniques, but sadly could not do anything about the rubbish spewing from our mouths. Hwahaha!

Timecodes

0:00 Outside broadcast intros
1:00 Bus parking tips for Villa Park (Aston Villa review)
3:00 Griggsy is back!
6:00 The Road to Wembley 2017: FA Youth Cup
10:00 Welcome to Wigan, Sky Television, & Ipswich thoughts
15:00 Hypothesis Corner: Three consecutive draws - points gained or lost?
19:00 Post match musings: Kellett, Caldwell tactics, bring on Ipswich

Progress With Unity Podcast #187: Derby review, Aston Villa and Newcastle previews

Short on time? That's a convenient coincidence, because we have just the gimmick for you. Starting this week, your flavour text writer will be providing one-sentence summaries of the PWU episode(s) in question. And this week, that sentence is:

"Warren Joyce lost his pants."

There ya go - now you don't even need to listen! But I'm still going to write timecodes to cover the unlikely event that you have over 30 seconds but less than 2 minutes to spare.

Only kidding, I haven't even listened to this episode yet. Let me know what happens, will ya?

Timecodes

0:00 Twilight Zone intros
0:30 Derby deconstruction with Si's softly spoken Off The Terrace report (1:30)
3:00 Grigg or Gomez? Yanic or Davies? Shorts or trousers?
8:00 First half painful, second half gainful(ish)
10:30 "It's all your fault, Marcus Wildschut"
17:30 FA Cup draw: 'a load of balls'
20:00 Aston Villa preview: Brucey's Frustration Game
23:00 Si's Oddschecker and mildly apprehensive predictions (apprehensictions?)
30:00 Stephen Warnock: Superstar Centre Forward
33:00 Newcastle preview & super-apprehensive predictions (superapprehensictions?)
40:00 10 in 10: televised tat or tanfastic treats? And 'when Latics were the best in Europe'

Progress With Unity Podcast #186: Huddersfield review, Derby preview

"Three large salads, you say? Who orders salad from McFellaini's?!"

Hypocrisy, hmm? To those who claim your small time internet flavour text writer had been brainwashed by the Roberto and Caldwell Co., I say this: you're darn right. And goodness knows it needed a thorough scrub, because there was some *really* mucky stuff at the back of that brain.

While I won't write about Calds again (probably), I'll continue to reference the 'Martinez fallacy' (possession does not always equal success) ad infinitum.

In other words, PWU welcomes its new shorts-wearing, Owdum accented, (possibly) Bovril-swilling, mega defensive overlord... with a great big custard pie to the face!

Only kidding - he can have all the Victoria sponge in my pantry if he keeps feeding it to Yanic.

Timecodes

0:00 Introductory tributes
2:00 Huddersfield review with misleading stats and Si's beaming Off The Terrace thingy (3:00)
8:00 Eleven points from the top 6 now #PlayoffsByXmas
10:00 Penalty falsehoods?
16:00 Defenders and goalies moonlighting as centre forwards & MacDonald's yellow card mystery
26:00 Davey Whelan's 3D printed chocolate statue surprise
28:00 RAMbling Derby preview (hah) with Statman's fat stat pack (29:30)
30:00 Derby predictions and Si's Outsider Oddschecker (33:00) 
35:00 Strikers returning to the starting lineup?

Progress With Unity Podcast #185: Barnsley review, Huddersfield preview

"For this statue, we give thanks."

Bet you wish you live in America right now, don't you? Not because you would be enjoying a tax-free Thursday off work, but because you would be as far away from those irritating Lancastrian podcast guys as possible.

...Sorry for the '70s joke (again). Have this statue of the PWU crew fighting over the mic as compensation.

-- 'Part Time' Dan

Timecodes

0:00 Crunchy intros sponsored by Uncle J
1:30 Barnsley review sponsored by Mick's Movember Mousse with Si's From the Terrace report (2:30)
5:00 Coach trip report sponsored by Double Decker (Buses)
9:00 Davies a defender? Yanic a centre forward? Sponsored by Craig Morgan's Rum
14:00 341 passes sponsored by Lee Nicholls
19:00 À bientôt Bog Man, Jó napot kívánok Jussi (not sponsored by Mike Pollitt)
22:00 Burke is a Tic, statue for centre forward (sponsored by Parkinson's Bags of Wind)
27:00 Leeky lapels and sleepy defences sponsored by Cozynight Beds
30:00 Udders Field preview sponsored by Ben Watson
34:00 Predictions & Si's odd Oddschecker sponsored by Rod Czecha
36:00 Hitching a ride with Owen C, sponsored by Iron Drew
40:00 The Grigg mystery endures, sponsored by... oh screw it, I'm going for lunch -- Dan

Progress With Unity Podcast #184: Bobby Campbell tribute, Barnsley preview

This week's usual flavour text has been expunged, not because it's been international week and I can't think of anything to write about, but as a mark of respect to the sadly departed Bobby Campbell.

*Above image certainly not from Campbell's 'mellow years'

Timecodes

0:00 Sombre intros
0:30 God Bless Bobby Campbell & don't leave your car at Springfield Park
4:00 Interview with Paul Firth, Bobby's biographer
9:00 "Best money I ever spent" -- Mathias, & don't spit on the opponents!
14:00 Everybody wants a 20-goal-a-season striker, & fancy a throat lozenge, Bobby?
21:00 "Some characters live on after death" -- Barry
24:30 No Slade this Xmas (hah) & Caldwell open to managerial offers
28:00 More befuddlement over Gaz's sacking
31:00 Barnsley preview with more reffing annoyance & form guide (33:00)
34:40 Si's Oddschecker and predictions sponsored by the East Dean Club again
39:00 "Everyone is guilty" of crapulence
42:00 Who's next for the new boss bounce?

Progress With Unity Podcast #183: Reading review

Hear those endless groans of painful discontent? 

...That’s actually my stomach doing its best wolfman impressions.

But don’t worry - it isn’t about to throw its shop-fresh 2011 replica shirt onto the DW pitch after the first Notts County goal hits the net. Neither will it toss its season card at the Kittywake barge passing under that rickety iron bridge.

I would have given a different answer to the question 'what's that sound?' if you’d asked me in ES6 on Saturday afternoon. And I have a different answer still if you’re presently listening to this week’s PeeDubya Podcast.

Timecodes 

0:00 Chilly intros
1:00 Reading is fun... sometimes. Or should that be 'Redding', Otis? (Reading review)
2:40 The Return of Si's Off The Terrace report
9:00 'Shortsman II' Joyce = a coach, not a manager?
16:00 Le Fondre > Grigg? And Joyce is another Malky?
21:30 Backroom blues - will they go?
24:00 "Get Grigg back!"
29:00 D. Whelan's Thanksgiving present
33:00 Barnsley mini-preview sponsored by the East Dean Club (sp?)
34:00 Walking (Not Running) Football New
36:00 Barry's testimonial year at Vital Latics!

Fartwatch: 22:30, 33:20

Progress With Unity Podcast #182: Cardiff review, Reading preview

Konbanwa! You are browsing the Wigan Athletic section of Loadaballz, the number one sports news aggravator- er, aggregator on the internet.

* 2 Nov 2016 10:15am: Hacker the Dog new favourite for Latics job?! (Hack Sports News)
* 2 Nov 2016 10:25am: "My legs just keep getting longer" -- Dan Burn (Athletic Monfly)
* 2 Nov 2016 10:50am: My season ticket card is badly printed (All Latix Allt' Time)
* 2 Nov 2016 10:59am: Scottish man earns £20,000 in a day with this one trick (Daily Fail)

Note to lawyers: Loadaballz does not guarantee that content of articles will be remotely relevant or indeed factual.

Timecodes

0:00 Managerless intros
1:10 Bluebirds v Blues review with Statman's enhanced stat pack
4:00 The Latics-Swansea Alliance & 'enhanced' stoppage time specification
9:00 Barrow: Manager of the Week & Caldwell shockwaves
15:00 Welcome Warren Joyce, the (other) shorts-wearing former Boltoner
17:00 New backroom boys? And a new documentary starring David Perkins and Paul Scholes
24:00 Reading preview with 1,000,001 (well, 3) Bonfire Night puns
27:00 Jaap's Eye Clinic: "Didn't see that one coming" -- Mick
29:00 Suitably overconfident predictions: Gomez back in & more duck nonsense
32:00 Si's Oddschecker 'Burp'
34:00 Si's Off The Wedding report live from the honeymoon suite

Progress With Unity Podcast #181: Brighton review, Caldwell GONE!

At the club many years, witnessing many managers pass through those certainly-not-for-the-stout Deedub turnstiles. Covered many kilometres across the Robin Park surface, which has been replaced over twelveteen times in that period.

Who'd have thought that Phoenix and Blue would be sacked, eh?

Well, I haven't seen them lately, but then I have been arriving at my seat five minutes late due to being too fat for the turnstiles.

What's that? Oh yeah, this podcast is actually about the axing of unpopular video sharing website Vine. Or something.

Also: apologies to All Gone Latics for stealing their exclusive on P 'n' B.

Timecodes

0:00 Duckin' painful intros
2:00 Right on Brighton review with flatulent Statman (Flatman?) & Off The Terrace
5:00 Welcome Yanic Jr, and a standing ovation
10:00 The mystery of the disallowed goal... SOLVED
17:00 Adam vs Shane Duffy: Social Media War Round 1
21:00 Captain Cald sent away for good! Right or wrong?
25:00 A secretive sacking? And where's Griggsy?
35:00 Who would you like next? Ryan Giggs (Is On Fire)?
41:00 Someone must be lined up... but who could it be?
46:00 Oh yeah, almost forgot about the Cardiff preview!
52:00 Emmerson Boyce in!

Progress With Unity Podcast #180: Burton and Leeds reviews, Brighton preview

Adam le Fondre winning Man of the Match instead of Dan Burn? There's a conspiracy theory for that.

Of course there bally well is - there's a conspiracy theory for absolutely anything you could care to mention. Dan Burn's sudden upturn in form? That's due the extra sprouts in his diet, of course. How else could he have cleared that 40-yard strike from his goal line but with fart power?

And what happened to that long-awaited statue of Dave Whelan? Well... because it was made out of Cadbury's Dairy Milk, a group of passing chocoholics kidnapped it from outside the West Stand.

Send me tinfoil to make a new hat and I'll reveal even more next week... *hic*

Timecodes

0:00 Elvis ate my neighbours! And poetic intros.
1:00 Nazi space planes! And Burton review with Si's Off The Terrace report.
5:00 Referee in 'sunglasses at night' shock! And the Burton game was pap.
7:00 'Agnes' le Fondre bribery! And Bogdan's 6-yard box chicken.
12:00 The Big Four control 100% of the world's orange harvest! And deferred expectations.
15:00 Barry wears flowery boxer shorts! And Si's Leeds Off The Terrace thingy.
19:30 Yanic Wildschut secretly prefers emus! And Statman's Leeds stat pack.
24:00 Three-eyed swans in the River Dougie! And Latics have never been overrun.
27:40 Iodine in the water supply! And crocked Gilbey in for Power.
28:30 Aliens sacked Owen Coyle! And Brighton preview.
32:30 Seagull waste is an aphrodisiac! And Brighton predictions.
35:00 Feral cats siphoning my electricity! And walking football shoutout.

Fartwatch 20:00

Progress With Unity Podcast #179: Burton and Leeds previews

Have you ever wished PWU could consist entirely of previews? Well, someone must have because the Fairy Fatmother has this week brought you 40 solid minutes of forward-thinking Latichat. Also: farts.

Incidentally, due in part to Weight Watchers, PWU are currently looking for a replacement Fairy Fatmother. Please let us know if you possess a large wand of wonders or indeed a monster stick. Whatever one of those is.

Timecodes

0:00 'Nothing to discuss here' intros
2:30 Skip to the Burton preview! With NEW comedy duo Max & Perks
6:00 Statman stat pack: Burton
12:00 "No Clough imprint" and beard injuries
16:00 Luke Garbutt rolling on?
19:00 Carefully considered Burton predictions with Si's Oddschecker 22:30
23:30 'Ludicrous' Leeds preview & Elland Rd. transfer history with Adam
28:00 Shortsless Leeds predictions not sponsored by orange fizzy drinks
36:00 Paul's Wimbledon victory & tinpot accusations(!)

Fartwatch: 32:40

Progress With Unity Podcast #178: Brentford review

Note: This week's flavour text has been postponed as the regular author is currently under investigation for 'irregularities' involving placement of Penguin biscuits within the PWU fridge. Because he didn't notice the hidden camcorder, he was caught switching mint flavour Penguins with the inferior orange and regular flavours after the other panellists had gone home.

In his absence, the following timecodes have been provided by Google Timecode, a new piece of technology that scans over 17 and a half sources of data including average number of spammers per blog post to provide 100% 50% accurate descriptions.

Tim3code8

0:00 Non-buzzing intrps ~%$
2:00 Brantf0rd chat including elongated ?stats
3:00 PWU hearts DB (Dan Burn) & YW (Yawning Wildshots)
7:30 Mailbag: Morgan on the periphery? %%
14:00 Mick's pilgrimage to St Holt's birthland
15:30 Thinternational break with the White Stripes
17:30 Sacking season: Preston strike again
21:00 £ntry corrupt£d~! FFF
22:00 Owen's transfer u-turn & naive veterans
27:00 Pro sport: "Everything has a price" & reskilling sawker players
33:00 Odelusi scored?! And Burton at the (Spanish) Villa
37:30 401 Marathons: that's a lot of nuts!

Fartwatch: 13:40, 37:40

Progress With Unity Podcast #177: Preston and Wolves reviews, Brentford preview

"Wow, Preston's only just finished and the Brentford game is mere minutes away from kickoff! This Championship thing is passing us by far too quickly for my liking.


"In fact I'll have you know I was born on 1 July and will be drawing my pension in two months' time. Life's all too short when you're a fruit fly like me, eh?"

*Is flattened by extra large fly swat

Can't turn back that clock, Marty. Onwards and Beewards...

Timecodes

Apologies in advance for the weird robot noises (CAPS) in certain parts of this 'cast.

0:00 Upbeat intros with ROBOT ATTACKS and more dwarf threshold chat
2:30 Melancholy Preston Off The Terrace report courtesy Simon Gee
4:00 SPACE INVADER ATTACK and PNE match stat pack
8:00 Wouldn't have scored all night and BERZERK ROBOTS INVADE
14:00 Caldwell out... to lunch?
18:00 Slightly chipper Wolves Off The Terrace report with Si (Caldwell back in!)
22:00 Passing Power with sidekick Perksman
27:00 Buxton vs. his nagging wife AKA the East Stand
34:00 A surprising result?
36:00 Bee positive: a Brentford preview with zero postman puns
39:00 Si's Oddschecker & Bee-dictions (boo, you used that pun once already)
47:00 FAB throwback: budgetary issues & survival

Progress With Unity Podcast #176: Fulham review, Preston preview

Fulham... predictable no-score draw... Des Lynam's drawers... shampooed moustache... Nigel Mansell... Maunsell sea forts... Sealand... sealant... Screw Thicks Direct... screw me to a blasted fence post... screw Wigan Fulham fixtures!

Sorry, I lapse into word association when my stamina runs low - 0-0s tend to have that effect on a small time internet weblogger. Just pretend it's an impromptu game of 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon' and all will be well.

I certainly ain't drunk, mind. Not yet, anyway

Timecodes

0:00 Empty seat intros
1:20 "Barn doors & banjos": Fulham boreview with Si's Off The Terrace thingy
3:20 All the numbers with stand-in Statman Baz
8:00 SHOCK! Selection SHOCKS! With Nick 'Limping' Powell
12:00 Snow White And The Tall Dwarves: The Dwarf Threshold
15:00 Deep in the Dales: Preston preview with Nick Myers
20:00 Players to look out for on Friday Night Footbawl & predictions (26:00)
28:00 Particularly pristine Preston Fact Pack lovingly prepared by Big Baz
40:00 Fans' Advisory Board September 2016: does anyone care about matchday programmes?
44:30 FAB continued: free away travel, photoshoot open day

Progress With Unity Podcast #175: Sheff Wed and Norwich reviews, Fulham preview

Where's Michael Fish when you need 'im? I remain convinced that Manchester is covered in a perpetual cloud that follows you around, Addams Family style. But thank goodness it's a relatively small cloud spanning just the city centre, or we may have been watching the Norwich Beamback from the DW Stadium Jordi Gomez Memorial Swimming Pool.

...He's Wigan's greatest ever diver, you see.

Timecodes

0:00 PG rated intros
1:30 Sheff Wed autopsy including Si's mournful From The Terrace (2:30)
8:00 Too many late signings? Not enough continuity?
13:00 Norwich post-mortem with the Keith Stroud Fan Club
14:30 Bog Man's Christmas tape screw-up
18:30 Burn vs. Byrne and Jordi vs. Yanic
28:30 Sunny Fulham preview with Hammyend.com's Dan Crawford
30:00 The 16-Year Old Giant and a glamorous away day
36:30 Penalised for playing good football? And bonus Dan Burn appraisal
44:00 The accommodating Fulham FC
49:00 15 points from the next 10 games?
55:30 Apprehensive Fulham predictions
58:00 Send your Betamax tapes to WAFC

Progress With Unity Podcast #174: Sheff Wed preview

'Captain' Bogdan amuses himself during the international break.

Progress With Unity is proud to announce its squad numbers for the 2015/16 season! But due to the English Podcast League's archaic copyright policies, we are are not able to publish them here at our small time internet weblog without paying at least £30 in paperwork fees.

Since we only have extra strong mints in the petty cash draw, you must solve these cryptic puzzles to find out who has been allocated which number. Have fun!

1. The one who finds increasingly creative ways to criticise the fourth official... but only when Wigan lose.
3. The one who slips in the odd curse word to make sure that part is edited out.
4. The one who finishes all the extra strong mints without telling anyone else they're there.
5. The one who forgets this is a Wigan Athletic podcast and talks about cricket/rugby/Olympics/competitive welly throwing at great length.
7. The one who is supposed to spend time on these descriptions but bursts bubble wrap instead.

Oh dear, I just realised that all those clues apply to every one of our panellists. You'll have to forgive me - it *has* been a pretty mind-numbing week of non-football, after all...

Timecodes

0:00 Thumbing and strumming intros
1:00 BONUS: The Non League Day high life with 'Salford' Simon
7:00 A great message from Bobby Campbell & Barry's Wigan 10k run
13:00 Transfer window wrap-up: Kaiyne Woolery, Andy Delort
20:00 International Breakdown: Bobby's Belgium - what a bench
22:00 Sheffield Wednesday preview: Latics links, the musical city
26:30 Si's rapid fire Oddschecker and predictions
33:00 Powell vs Perkins: Battle of the Ages
37:00 Norwich Beamback preview: Spotlight on ref Keith Stroud (and Delia)
43:00 Loanwatch: Super Sanmi Odelusi

Progress With Unity Podcast #173: QPR review, transfer deadline day

Wigan Athletic v Queens Park Rangers: an exercise in splitting the happy clappers from the doom mongers; a Floydian exercise in sturdy defensive sensibilities; an exercise in Caldwellian (im)patience.

Transfer Deadline Day: an exercise in extreme showmanship; an exercise in dodgy ties and even dodgier haircuts; an exercise in glorification of the utterly mundane (raises hand).

International break: An exercise in having to spend your Saturday making up silly rumours to amuse yourself; an exercise in wondering why Alex Witsel wants Marouane Fellaini's haircut.

PWU: An exercise in futility?

Timecodes
0:00 Up and running with the Wigan 10k
2:30 QPR review with Simon Gregory's Off the Terrace report (4:00)
9:00 Wasteful Latics: a rant by... who?
13:00 Those disallowed goals UNCOVERED
18:00 PWU Transfer Deadline Day news ticker
20:00 Is the Championship ready for Morsy (& Colclough)?
25:00 Who else should go? & 28:00 Welcome Adam Le Fondre
31:00 The Billion Pound Window & 'The Human Tampon'
36:30 Where's the M. Bition money gone?
40:00 A good window?
45:00 Last words: FAB postponed & new fanzines out soon

Blazing Saddles Watch: 22:20, 22:50

Progress With Unity Podcast #172: Forest review, QPR preview

TRUSTED SOURCES: PWU Sports Snooze to continue churning out more nonsensical transfer speculation, at least until the window closes. In the meantime, please bear with our feline caterwauling and blatant listenerbaitism.

UNTRUSTED SOURCES: This podcast may soon be renamed the V**** W**** Podcast.

SCHLOSSES: Sell great souvenir shortbread biscuits. Apologies if you aren't German and don't get the joke - console yourself in the fact it's so bad that German speakers won't either.

Hey, at least I didn't mention Heinz...

Timecodes

0:00 Intros hijacked by FAB
1:30 Forest review hijacked by Si's Off The Terrace report (3:00)
4:20 Listener Question of the Week: Yanic at wing back?
11:30 "We need to wake up" -- Caldwell, and Dan Burn feels the burn (13:00)
23:00 RefWatch: If we lose he's rubbish
24:00 PWU Sports Snooze transfer deadline ticker
30:00 Contradiction volleyball set 1: Stojkovic vs Kingson
33:00 A particularly nostalgic QPR preview
36:00 Contradictory predictions
42:00 Olympic report: 'table tennis was alreet'
46:00 Closing request from a sub

Progress With Unity Podcast #171: Blackburn and Birmingham reviews, Forest preview

In any game of football, there are three possible outcomes: home win, away win, draw. In mathematical terms, this gives you a 1/3 chance of winning.

But mathematics is, of course, nonsense. If it were so reliable, we wouldn't need a stat man to correct its mistakes.

Cue Fantasy Football style chants of 'Statman! Statman!' from the gallery

However, the troublesome law of averages seems to have applied itself to Latics' first three games of the season, which have included one win, one loss and one draw.

As tribute, we now present a special edition of PWU Win, Lose or Draw! And heeeere's your host - Barry Slattery...

Timecodes:

0:00 Wonderful World of Latics intros
0:40 WIN: Blackburn review with Si's Off The Terrace report (1:00)
5:00 The roasting of Dan Burn
11:00 The boasting of Shane Duffy
12:00 DRAW: Enthusiastic Birmingham review
14:00 RefWatch: the systematic dismantling of 'Grandpa' Simpson
20:00 McDonaldWatch with ketchup
23:00 Transfer Non-Bullbutter of the Week: the new dudes in profile
27:00 Burn your season tickets - Jordi is back!
31:00 Actual Transfer Bullbutter of the Week
36:00 LOSS? (Well, hopefully not.) Forest preview with Statman stats package
41:00 Attendance propaganda & beer donations
43:00 Fans Advisory Board Sep 2016 call for attendees 

Progress With Unity Podcast #170: Bristol City and Oldham review, Blackburn and Birmingham preview

Did the season start yet? Did we lose on Saturday and get dumped out of the League Cup on Tuesday?

Did Will Grigg snatch the Golden Boot? Did Wigan Athletic effortlessly ride a flaming Segway through (almost) all terrified defences on their way to the league title?

Did they beat Preston 5-0 and Blackburn 8-0? Did that freshly-painted open top bus pass through Hindley and Higher Ince on its way to Believe Square?

No? Then wake me up when it all happens, and not a second later. Cheers!

Timecodes:

0:00 Roll up for the fairground intros
1:00 Surprisingly chirpy Bristol City review with 2:00 Si's Off The Terrace report
10:00 Don't Luke Burke in Anger: the jump from academy to first team
17:30 Utter Bullbutter of the Week: Morsy to Scunny & settling the squad
21:50 The world's greatest fart?
24:30 Which Tics is Which? Oldham review
25:00 Under the Mick-roscope: do teams take the EFL Cup seriously?
31:00 Off The Terrace at Boundary Park with Si
34:00 Bamford to Wigan: truth or ball cocks?
"Some snotty nosed kid on Twitter trying to make a name for himself"
42:30 Great Graham Scott! It's the Blackburn preview
45:00 Ebullient Blackburn predictions sponsored by doughnuts and glucose drink
50:00 Season Ticket Blues Vol II: how many sold? A Barry rant
58:00 Brummingham preview and predictions package

Progress With Unity Podcast #169: Bristol City preview, season preview

That's it, silly season's over. No more frivolous gossip and unnecessary gumph to pad out the whole hour we've been allocated by the powers that be. No more obsessing over the super-minutiae. No more watching BT Sport's Betfred Cup and wishing it actually counted for more than a hastily-scribbled beer IOU.

But fret not, dear reader, for there are only about 32 PWU episodes to endure before you can experience it all again! By that time, Wigan Athletic will have been promoted from the Championship, picking up both the League Cup and FA Cup along the way...⸮

Timecodes:
0:00 Simmerin' intros
1:00 Fashionista Corner: best set of kits in the league?
2:00 Pre-season: you didn't miss anything
7:30 Fresh-faced freshmen: new signings
11:30 Welcoming Rob to the Ball and Chain Club
14:30 Transfer bullsh- er, gossip
21:20 Outgoings: Pearce, Grigg?
30:00 Season preview: Perkins, slow starts, spine of the team?
41:30 Yanic Under the Mick-roscope
45:00 Games we're most looking forward to
46:20 Bristol City preview with Refwatch Full Time Pro Special
50:00 Tales from the Shed End and token predictions
52:20 Si's Pre-Season Oddschecker
56:00 Season Ticket Blues

Progress With Unity Podcast Best of 2015/16 Season Part III

"But where's part 2?" I hear you cry.

Well, we left it in the oven too long. Which is perfect, as Progress With Unity prides itself in breaking all the sequences, not to mention hearts and your remaining semblances of resolve after another Will Grigg's On Fire disco marathon.

This is a good part, though. I put it together myself with Neil Buchanan's PVA glue and Valerie Singleton's double sided sticky tape.

Here's part 1.

Progress With Unity Podcast #169: Euro 2016 preview

Will Grigg isn't the only reason to keep an eye on Euro 2016. Personally, I'll be watching to witness Gary Lineker's continued transformation into Colonel Sanders - all he needs now is the iconic spectacles and Walkers have one heck of a southern fried dilemma. Ya hear me, partner?

Otherwise, it's the perfect excuse to apply the 'X's on fire, Y is terrified' formula to anything vaguely relevant. You know, like 'Fellaini's on fire, your McDonald's is terrified'.

Actually, screw the football. I want to see 'Fast Food Deathmatch XXI: Gary 'Colonel Sanders' Lineker vs. Marouane 'Ronald McDonaldinho' Fellaini' at Stade de France this month. You must make it happen, Big Brother!

Progress With Unity Podcast #168: Barnsley review, end of season singalong

Eh? What was that yer said theer, lad? I can't hear a ruddy thing - me ears are still ringin' after I stood reet in front o' that loudspeaker durin' t'presentation ceremony on Sunday. Eee, we had nowt like that in my day... back then they just told the compere to speak slightly louder. Yep, 2003 was a difficult year for us all, mark my words.... zzzz snore.

Ed: You wouldn't believe he turns 30 this year, dear readers. Anyway, while he's asleep I should make good use of this rare opportunity and voice my own opinions on every little thing! I shall take great delight in trashing Latics because they played at 75% in a single game, while conveniently ignoring the 40+ other 'smashing' performances this season.

But I... er... have absolutely nothing to say... except that PWU can't sing.

Progress With Unity Podcast #167: Blackpool review, Barnsley preview

Why, dear reader? Why would you ever feel the evil urge to buy one of those terrible third-rate excuses for bedroom pseudo-furniture? The annoying little balls get lodged in your groin area, causing stealth bum numbness that only seems to materialise when you attempt to stand.

And tell me why you would want a tangerine coloured one when you claim to be a Wigan Athletic fan. Do you plan to paint it with that blue gloss you have left over from last year’s shed redecoration? Granted, it is a simply gorgeous hue, darling...

...But oh, you meant ‘Blackpool Beamback’? Sorry, I’ll crawl slowly to my comfort beanbag in the corner again…

Progress With Unity Podcast #166: Southend review, Blackpool preview

Got your snow boots and parka ready? Good, because Blackpool beckons and I don't like the look of that weather forecast. Forget sandcastles, you'd be better served building snowcastles! Fetch the mop bucket and shovel, I fancy making a snow-Caldwell...

Hard to believe it's almost August and Latics' latest campaign to crush the Championship is about to begin. I'm tipping Marc-Antoine Fortune and Grant Holt to be the top scorers for Uwe Rosler this season as chairman Dave Whelan aims for third successive FA Cup Semi Final.

Wait, er... what year is this again? And why is it hailstoning in May? Is this a dream, mother?

On this week's particularly smug edition of the PWU Podcast, your confident panellists explain why it was never once in doubt... and chat about ducks. But that bit was mostly cut out, so the above pic makes little sense...

Progress With Unity Podcast #165: Doncaster and Burton reviews, Southend preview

Three more to go. 270 minutes plus however many minutes of injury time those blasted officials dig from the deepest recesses of their sofas' gargantuan butt creases.

Three more afternoons to bemoan the death of the traditional 3pm kickoff. Three more days spent jammed into pathetically tiny train carriages bound for Victorian platforms with crumbling architecture.

Three more times to breathe deeply and watch an inflatable sphere roll around reclaimed sand for an hour and a half. Three more football matches for the PWU team to become very nervous about.

...Unless there are also playoff matches, that is. But such words are tantamount to blasphemy... let's finish this job now!

Progress With Unity Podcast #164: Coventry review, Doncaster and Burton previews

Oh, did someone at the back ask for a bunch of cheesy stats stolen from BBC Sport?

It may surprise you that Wigan haven’t scored more than a single goal in any game at the DW since February. Prior to the 1-1 draw with Peterborough on 5 March, they had only failed to score three in a single game this calendar year – a scoreless draw against Oldham on that new shag pile.

Since that fateful afternoon, the ‘Real Latics’ have beaten Gillingham, Peterborough, Chesterfield, Swindon and Walsall… and of course, drawn with then-leaders Burton Albion. I’d suggest they’ll be safe from relegation now, even if Millwall (A) and Coventry (H) await in the last two games of the season.

But getting back to the ‘Plastic Latics’ and their recent home ‘goal drought’, such as it is… well, I’ll let those boisterous PWU panellists be the judge of that. Hmm, I wonder if Statman will be annoyed that I’m trying to emulate him?

Well, Gaz, mimicry is the saltiest form of battery… or something like that.

Progress With Unity Podcast #163: Shrewsbury review, Coventry preview

They’re one Right Honourable Tub of Lard MP away from being a certain Friday evening BBC panel show. I’m of course talking about the delightful carousel of celebrity guests that is WISH FM, who have been covering for the absent Neill Rimmer with various employees of Wigan Athletic FC.

Don’t get me wrong – it must be said that dear Rimmsey has been a brilliant ‘game caller’ for both the club and our local FM radio station. But sometimes it’s good to hear a fresh voice – hey, lack of rotating panellists is the reason you stopped listening to the PWU Podcast many moons ago.

Ed Jones, Michael Jacobs and Jonathan Jackson have very capably assumed the co-commentator’s mic in the past month… but who’s gonna be next?

…Well, I can exclusively reveal that Children’s BBC presenter and Muppet wannabe Hacker T Dog is being primed to commentate on this Saturday’s game against Coventry! He last donned the sheepskin coat for a Belgium v Russia World Cup game in 2014, but has been ‘sucking many of Statman’s Uncle Joe’s’ in preparation for his big comeback.

And that’s where this blurb ends, because PWU knows all about sucking. That was too close to the… er… bone.

Woof.

Progress With Unity Podcast #162: Swindon Rochdale reviews, Shrewsbury preview

Having witnessed first hand how successful Gary Caldwell’s paper notes system can be, I am certain that a little piece of paper, not virtual webspace, is the way forward for Wigan Athletic opinion distribution. Fanzines? Too expensive. Newspaper? Too many hard words. Messages scribbled on toilet walls? Too smelly.

From now on, I will summarise each issue in 20 handy words on a single index card to be distributed amongst all twelve of you. At some point in the next two weeks, you may or may not receive a particularly well-thumbed bit of card with some barely readable smudged ink.

And do you know what the best part is? It will be available for the low, low price of your sanity.

Progress With Unity Podcast #161: Bradford review, Swindon and Rochdale previews

Why is it that Walsall don’t play at all over Easter weekend? You’d think they might have one game at least, but their next scheduled game is against Sheffield United on 2 April.

Are they entering an egg rolling competition… or maybe an egg roll competition on The Great British Egg-Off? Perhaps they’re going to see a theatrical version of The Walking Dead starring Darren Deadman as all the zombies…?

Or is it that time of year when the whole of Walsall takes time off to prune its exquisitely trimmed lawns? You know, like how Wigan has a borough-wide holiday for National Pie Week.

(I have to say Walsall’s lack of domestic action could also be due to players on international duty. But that’s boring, so let’s not.)

Whatever the reason, bottlenecking fixtures in April can only lead to heartache. The good news is that the Saddlers, like Latics, are now mathematically safe from relegation… but wouldn’t the Playoffs be just as bad?

Yes… yes, they would.

Progress With Unity Podcast #160: Colchester review, Bradford preview

Question: How long does it take to get to Mars?

Answer: After a low scoring draw with Bradford, a thumping victory over Swindon, a last minute winner against Rochdale, a boring 0-0 with Coventry, a gutbusting thriller at the Pirelli Stadium, a premature promotion party at Blackpool and a tense final day win to secure automatic promotion on goal difference.

Then, the arrival of eight new players plus one high profile £5m sale to balance the books. A shaky start to a new Championship season with Jussi Jaaskelainen’s place under threat from new signing Roy ’53 Years Young’ Carroll…

Actual answer: If the ExoMars schedule is to be trusted, about 7 months.

“Well, I wish you’d just told me that in the first place.”

Progress With Unity Podcast #159: Peterborough review, Colchester preview

Apparently, last Friday wasn’t the 13th of March… but you could have fooled me. When Mike Pollitt steered his SUV into a poorly-placed brick wall, he set in motion a chain of events that rippled through the Latics goalkeeping staff, and eventually the whole team. Tactical switches became difficult to acclimatise to, before you knew it, two League One points had slipped through our particularly greasy gravy-stained fingers.

In a season of great luck with injuries, suspensions, signings and results, relatively minor misfortunes are magnified to such an extent they become lead paragraphs on small time internet weblogs.

But it hasn’t been a bad week overall, you know. The tenacious trio of Morsy, Jussi and Pearcey will be back fairly soon, while Stephen Warnock has also arrived to help Polyfilla the mouse hole. (Aaand now you know what household tasks I’ve been engaged in this past month…)

Progress With Unity Podcast #158: Bury and Millwall reviews, Peterborough preview

We would like to wish goalkeeping coach Mike Pollitt a very Happy 11th Birthday for 29th February. Since such occasions only arrive every four years, it is an event to be celebrated... with a thumping 3-0 victory over the Farnworth Flyer’s former side.

Oh, didn’t you know? Polly was benchwarmer for the Saddlers at the start of the 91-92 season... at the ripe old age of 5. No wonder he never made an appearance for the club!

We’d also like to thank the Beamback Gods, who blessed us with a fighting 0-0 draw at the Lions’ Den. Never will a scoreless game be so well remembered by so many, not least Sam Morsy.

Roll on Peterborough and the rest of the final dozen, baker’s man! Preferably with jam.

Progress With Unity Podcast #157: Walsall review, Bury and Millwall previews

We shouldn’t really talk about the FA Cup, seeing as Wigan are no longer part of this year’s competition. But I can’t resist – the nostalgic lure of summer 2013 looms large in my nostrils like the fragrant aroma of fresh pigeon droppings. Hey, it reminds me of Haigh Hall, okay?

Observers of Man City’s crushing cup defeat to Chelsea may have recognised two familiar faces – those of Tosin Adarabioyo and Cameron Humphreys-Grant. That’s because they played for City 18s against Wigan at Stade DW just a few short weeks ago! My, how they grow so fast.

Meanwhile, the ‘magic of the League’ continues to excite Progress With Unity’s panellists more than it bally well should. Are you ready for the mid-table marathon that is Feb-Mar 2016?! PWU says: bring it on with a side of French fry pie.

Progress With Unity Podcast #156: Oldham review, Walsall preview

He’s the only Latics player cool enough for not one, but three heavy metal umlauts. Jussi Albert Jääskeläinen, whose name I certainly did not cut and paste from Wikipedia just now, is still bumpin’ and thumpin’ at the ripe old age of 21 plus 19. You never would have thought it ten years ago, but the long time Boltonian has bellowed his way into our big Lancastrian hearts this Valentine’s Week.

Choose not to berate and slate those who might have converted their 86th minute chances, nor those who slowly slinked down the tunnel after getting lost in the centre circle. Instead, listen to PWU’s so-called 'expert panellists' do just that…

Well, OK – we do praise Jussi as well... briefly.

Progress With Unity Podcast #155: Sheffield United review, Oldham preview

At this point in the season, there exist 23 mini-Everests. Scaling a single place in the League One table is a notable achievement indeed... if you can survive, that is. And that's not to mention the $25,000 you have to fork out just for a permit to climb.

I, er... think I'm going to stick to scaling the Rabbit Rocks in Ince from now on. The terrain is much more even than a typical DW surface in mid-February...

Progress With Unity Podcast #154: Port Vale and Man City U18 review, Sheff Utd preview

Ahh, good old Tez. We miss ya!

Gooooood afternoon guys! Iiiiiit's twelve past seven here at 193.2 Latics Efff Emmm. Gonna be ten degrees out there today so remember to take a coat and bag of Uncle Joe's with you if you're venturing beyond that front dooooor.

Todaaaay's shoutout goes to the DW Stadium surface: get well soon from all Latics fans out there in Wigan Boroughland on this fine Lancastrian afternoon. Please don't fall apart, we need you for the next four months!

And comin' up next, it's the same track you heard at the same time yesterday because we never deviate from our prescribed playlists. Guh-roooveeeeeaah!

Progress With Unity Podcast #153: Crewe review, Port Vale preview, FAB January 2016

"Good evening, Bristolers. I am reporting live from Norwich, on the border with Hulton just outside wig gone.

"Sorry, did my audio just become garbled there, Geoff? I'm pointing my phone in the erection of Winter Hill now... is matt any better?

"Wight. Let's continue with this week's ablution of the pro Gresty Road post cat. I reckon-"

Oh dear, we seem to have lost our flavour text writer. Let's hope we never get him back.

Progress With Unity Podcast #152: Chesterfield review, Crewe preview

Look, I know we just picked up seven points from nine at home. I know we just saw fifteen goals, all of them amazing in their own special way.

But I'd prefer to just forget everything that has gone and look forward to the final part of the season, OK? All these comebacks are making the hairs on my arms fall out, and I need those to look like Bruce Willis in my 80s tank top.

So Wigan Athletic, for the sake of my yak-like hairiness, keep scoring three goals a game until May 2016.

Thanks,
Guy That Writes The Flavour Text That Nobody Ever Reads

Progress With Unity Podcast #151: Gillingham and Sheff Utd reviews, Chesterfield preview

You want to see the table? Well, here it is...

Don't look at the table, it'll only make you nervous. I said don't do it! And while you're at it, forget all those other teams in this division too. And the other divisions.

Aaaah, don't you feel better now? Good, you can enjoy the football of a Saturday afternoon without worrying if you'll make the playoffs or finish 24th out of 24. Now you can relax and savour soccer for the spectacle it really is.

Sigh... I remember when the FA Cup used to do to that for us.

*Wipes tear from eye*

*Takes swig from '2013 FA Cup Winners' mug*

Progress With Unity Podcast #150: Fleetwood and Scunthorpe, Gillingham and Sheffield United

Tonight's shoutout is directed squarely at the Great British weather, which, in the spirit of neo-punk, continues to make a mockery of the Football League's fixture selection! Yaah, go raaain!

Thankfully, plenty of precipitation is prophecised for the next couple of weeks. This means I can cool down my season ticket, which will be pretty close to melting point after being swiped through the DW turnstiles thrice in the space of nine days.

I suggest you visit the toilet *before* listening to this week's edition of the PWU Podcast, because we rattle through a whole year's worth of topics in the space of 45 minutes. Hey, the last episode was aaaaall the way back in 2015, so there's much more to cover than usual!

(And I know I use that joke every year, but hopefully you forgot by now...)

Progress With Unity Podcast Best of 2015/16 Season Part I

Yeah, we know there's some football going on. We know we should be making podcasts about it and drawing the ire of Latics pundits/fans the world over. But since we're roasting our chestnuts on Barry's open fire, we are in no state to present such an offering at this time. 

As a form of apology, please accept this, the first of a four part special looking back on the 2015/16 season at PWU. Part 2 will arrive soon enough, while 3 and 4 will be along in time for your summer holidays. I haven't edited those yet... in fact, we haven't recorded a single thing for them to date. But rest assured, I will and we will!

But for now, a Happy New Year to all.